“If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?”. As I was scrolling down Quora on my phone, this question came into view. It didn’t take too long for me to come with an answer mentally – the ability to eat whatever I want without gaining weight! It was only hours later that I realized that my answer would most likely sound extremely peculiar to most people. Would I not want complete hearing ability? Then I could do so many things – talk on the phone freely, have relaxed group conversations in noisy restaurants, watch movies without closed captions, understand all the lyrics in a rap song (ok, just kidding – we’d all need superhuman level of hearing for that!).
I thought about it more and more – the relationship between my hearing impairment and me. I tried to imagine my life if I wasn’t hearing impaired. Would I have the same outlook on life? Would I have the same learning experiences? Would I essentially be the same person? More and more I was convinced that I would not – there was just something essential about the presence of hearing impairment in my life.
It dawned on me that I do not see my hearing impairment as a “disability” or even the more politically correct “differential ability”. I see has as a part of my identity – as much as being an Indian or a Dilliwala is. India as a country may not have the same opportunities as a developed Western country but ask most Indians whether they would prefer to be born somewhere else and most of them will reply in negative. That is essentially the relationship I have with hearing impairment.
I don’t have hearing impairment. I am a hearing impaired person. This is not an article about living with hearing impairment, I have no illness or disorder. This is an article about being a hearing impaired person.
As I come to this realization that hearing impairment is an identity, I realize that any roadblocks towards doing anything I want to do are not because of my lack of ability. It is because I have the perception that my identity is an inconvenience to others.
If I am sitting in a round table discussion and I do not understand what someone is saying, this isn’t because I lack the ability to understand as well as the other participants on the table. I may lack the ability to hear as well as other people on the table, but I do not lack the ability to speak up and ask him to repeat what he said. If I do not, it is because I am under the impression that my identity as a hearing impaired person is an inconvenience to others on the table.
And in most cases, it is a mistaken impression. Most people are empathetic towards others – they are willing to adjust, not out of sympathy or charity, but because they value people with a different identity from themselves especially the different perspectives they can bring. The problem is awareness not lack of empathy and just taking a little time to make people aware goes a long way.
Sometimes, I will encounter someone who isn’t empathetic – who’ll act as if repeating something is causing him a great inconvenience – woe betide you for being born a hearing impaired person and crossing paths with him!
If you encounter such as person professionally, ensure that you do not give him the pleasure of making you feel that your identity is an inconvenience for him. Firmly and repeatedly ask to repeat himself until you get the information you want – usually, they will have no choice but to do so. If you encounter someone in your personal life, then firmly and quickly cut him out of your live. Someone who lacks empathy towards you lacks empathy towards humanity in general.
Being a hearing impaired person hasn’t stopped me from achieving whatever I want to do. I have two degrees in Computer Engineering. I lived an independent life 5000 km away from my home for three years. I started my own company. I participated in roundtable discussions with successful entrepreneurs. I pitched and took questions from audiences of 1000s of people. I am right now planning a solo travel trip.
This is because I am proud of my identity and make that clear to everyone in my life – whether it’s a lifelong friend or a fleeting interaction with a stranger. I am a hearing impaired person.
All this would not have been possible without Suniye – I could look at older hearing impaired members of Suniye and see how they conducted themselves. They provided the inspiration and belief that helped me get my confidence levels up. I hope that I provide an example for the next generation of Suniye students so that they also grow up to be proud of their identity
– Cheenu who has a profound hearing loss, has done his B.E. in Computers from the prestigious Delhi College of Engineering, MS from the University of Florida, USA and was employed as a Financial Software Developer in Bloomberg, New York, USA. He has since returned to India and started Clinchpad, a venture for the development of computer software.
